Thursday, December 13, 2012

I Have Something to Say

It seems that every time I post some sort of picture with my parents in their
wedding clothes, it gets very unnecessarily criticized. I would appreciate it
very much if whoever is doing that would quit. For your information, my mom
did wear makeup on her wedding day and just because she's not the skinniest
person in the world doesn't give you a right to say nasty, unkind things about her.
She's my mom, I love her, and that's that! My parents love us and care for us deeply
and that far exceeds any outward looks that bother you. I'm 21-years-old and my
parents don't control my life-just so you know. I have my own will, and believe me-I use it!
They let me make my own decisions, but they try to help me make wise ones.
Oh yes, and if my sister and I don't wear makeup, it's because we each personally
 made that choice: we were not forced to! That's our decision, not yours. I don't have to
wear makeup if I don't want to! Even though we dress differently, we're people just as much as you are.

PLEASE, stop cutting down my parents!!!! It's unkind, it's unfair, it's unnecessary,
totally and deeply unappreciated, and it's completely unacceptable!
I'm letting you know now, that comments with any such content will be rejected.
 Any such comments are not filled concern for our welfare, they're only made
out to slander and hurt people. So you could save yourself the trouble of sending it.
 I love my family very much! Please stop being so deliberately mean and unreasonable.
Oh yes, and my father does NOT abuse us! He's a wonderful dad!

You're entitled to your own opinion, but that doesn't mean my family and I have to
hear it if it's full of gossip. And I'm entitled to my opinion, and my family means a
great deal to me.

I love them! I LOVE THEM, and THEY LOVE ME and CARE ABOUT ME!

"But Jesus was saying,'Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.' "
(Luke 23:34)

39 comments:

  1. Good for you, Rebecca! Always stand up for the ones you love. You are a sweet and kind person, and I wish you a merry Christmas and a wonderful new year.

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  2. Well said, Rebecca.

    BTW, I love the way you changed up your Christmas tree decorations this year. I haven't put mine up yet... must get on with it!

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  3. I'm sorry that you've had to put up with such nastiness, Rebecca, and good for you for standing up against it.

    I never knew before that it is a crime not to wear make-up! Some people are very strange.

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  4. Dear Rebecca~
    YES!!!
    I totally agree with you that making fun, down talking or gossiping about your family IS NOT acceptable!
    Your Mom is a sweet person and she has a big heart.....always willing to "go the extra mile" for someone!
    And both of you girls have very sweet countenance's & hearts as well....and remember
    it is not on the outside what matters, rather on the inside!
    Beacause man looks at the outward appearence but GOD sees the heart!
    So these that have unkind things to say need love and prayer!
    Sorry that someone has been so unkind to you and your family.
    Our love and Prayers~
    Maggie

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    Replies
    1. You're right. They do need love and prayer.

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  5. Whoever it is that is posting stupid things??? If your heart is ugly, YOU ARE UGLY!!! Inside and out. No matter how many gallons of makeup you put on!! The Kellum family is a beautiful family and serve The Lord by helping, giving and encouraging others!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, but it's true I need to forgive them. Only Jesus can make a heart truly clean and beautiful.

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    2. I just said a prayer for the person who made those unkind remarks. Anybody who would do something like that is probably very unhappy. He or she needs Jesus!

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  6. Rebecca - you have a very sweet, uplifting and positive blog. I enjoy visiting it, and feel like you've welcomed me into your home with every post. Ignore the unkind comments - for every insulting comment, I can guarantee there are many more visitors to your blog that think no such thing... they just don't take the time to comment, but like me, they leave your blog with kind and positive thoughts about you and your family.
    All the best, Linda - Tampa FL

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  7. Rebecca, I did come across your blog on the website to which you are probably referring, and I admit that I do read there frequently. Although I don't agree with all of the choices made by you and your family, I do agree that how you dress etc is your own business.

    I (and many of the other readers and posters on that site) actually view and comment on the many positive sides to you and your family that you have referred to on your blog. It's clear to me (and others there, I assure you) that you all love each other, have fun together and are great, supportive and caring friends to many other families that you know. There is actually a lot of respect for you there. For example, when you posted the sad news about the Notgrass baby, many of us were truly grieved.

    Do as you see fit in life, continue to treat others kindly and, and although others may disagree with your views, they will respect you.

    Take care.

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  8. Thank you anyway. I'm glad to hear that. I know not everyone agrees with us on things. Thank you for being honest with me though.

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  9. Rebecca -- I think when anyone keeps a blog, they are setting themselves up for criticism, so that's just a tough lesson that makes you stronger in your convictions, whatever they might be. I hope you are truly happy with your life as it seems on your blog. It's a big wide world out there and always ways to achieve your goals if you set them and then make plans and seek means. I would just encourage you to step out of the box and explore your options -- go to college, get a job, move out of the house, make some friends that are your age (you can learn a lot from people that way, even if they aren't Christians). You are a sweet girl and I'm glad you blog. Don't give up on that if you like it.

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    1. Yes, I'm happy and content, but of course I'm excited about the future and wonder what God has for me. Right now I'm choosing to stay at home under my parents' roof to serve the Lord from here, and there's been lots of oppurtunities besides making meals for people. But I'm enjoying how the Lord chooses to use us.

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  10. Rebecca, I don't comment often but I regularly read and enjoy your blog. I'm sorry that people have been so cruel to you and your family. From reading your blog I can tell how much your family love each other, and the care and love you have for your extended family and friends. What you look like and whether you wear makeup or not mean nothing as to what kind of person you are. I loved the pictures of your parents renewing their vows, I thought all of your family looked beautiful and your parents very much in love - a very special thing.

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  11. There are a lot of unkind people out and about on the internet, unfortunately.

    You have a lovely family, Rebecca and I always enjoy reading posts that show the small daily kindnesses that you show to one another. Your family's hospitality shines through the photographs of so many warm get togethers, full of friends and delicious food. Your parents seem like honest, loving, faithful people, and you have every reason to be proud of such a good family. I think peoples' personalities can be reflected in their pets- and Chloe seems very dear.

    There are trolls on the internet who would like to steal our happiness, just as there are thieves and bullies in the real world that lurk to steal our possessions. But there are plenty of good souls, too. Keep blogging about your wonderful family- there are other good people who enjoy reading your words.

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  12. Rebecca, you don't know me and we are from very different backgrounds, but I always enjoy your blog. You show great personality, compassion, a love of life and a good, generous heart. I love that you have stood up for yourself and have done it in a mature, calm yet assertive manner. You go girl!

    As an aside, I don't wear makeup either. Never wanted to. If it bothers anyone I don't know about it and if I did I wouldn't care!

    Enjoy your life! don't let the naysayers get you down.

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad it seemed calm to you. I hope I wasn't rash, though I feel that's how it came out. I tried not to react, but respond. I didn't know how else to express myself in this post and I did pray for guidance as I wrote it.

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    2. Rebecca,

      your prayers were heard apparently. You did a great job standing up for your family and yourself without diminishing and offending other people in the process.

      Delete
  13. Rebecca, I was very happy to see this post from you. It's good to see that you can stand up for yourself and your family in a mature way. Many people a lot older than you cannot be as calm and mature as you were in this post.
    From your blog posts, I definitely believe that you love your family and your family loves you. I think you probably know that your website has been discussed over on the Free Jinger website and I am sure that most (if not all) of the critical comments you've received on here are from posters from Free Jinger. I think it's really unfair that people have made rude comments about you and your family because of that website. You never asked for that attention. You don't seem to be trying to hurt anyone else. Some people are just bullies. I assure you that the people who say mean things about you are people who have their own problems in life. That's why they spend time saying nasty things about people they don't even know. Try not to let it affect you. You seem like a lovely person and you deserve to be happy in life.

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    1. Yes, they need our prayer too. I'm sure many of them are truly unhappy, and that's hard. But the comment I received yesterday about my parents was uncalled for. It wasn't just making fun kind of mean, it was absolutely dirty. Very filthy language.

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  14. Anyone who cut down your parents doesn't deserve the dignity of a reply. Your family seems lovely. Being a size 8 is not a virtue, doesn't make you a better kitchen.

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    Replies
    1. Um, better Christian, not kitchen. Stupid auto-complete. :)

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  15. You seem like such a kind & caring person. A true Christian in every sense. :) Ignore the negativity & keep on enjoying your life.

    P.S I also found your blog via the website you are probably referring to.

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  16. Another reader from FJ here. Great post, so refreshing to read restrained and respectful outrage instead of hatred when someone says something one doesn't like.

    Several of us actually enjoy your blog because it seems very genuine and honest, unlike most of the blogs we snark on, where people gloss up their lives and try to out-Christian each other, but then post hate-filled messages defending themselves. You have some fans there; next time you see us discussing your blog feel free to comment. Merry Christmas!

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    1. Whoa! Uh...thank you. Thank you for saying our blog looks honest, I'm so glad. That's what I want it to be. As long as I know you all know that.

      It can be hard not to say negative things when things appear not to be what it's made out to be.

      I hope I responded in a Christ-like manner. I hope I wasn't repaying evil for evil. I tried not to. I didn't know how else to express myself though. I hope I wasn't hurtful in return.

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    2. I can only second what the Anonymous above said: Unlike other people that use Christianity as an excuse to brag about themselves on their websites and blogs, diminish others that are different or follow different believes, and spew their hatred everywhere they go , YOU come over as a truly loving, caring, and compassionate young woman without having the need to belittle those that are different.

      May you find the strength to always stand up for yourself and the ones you love.
      Keep that respectful and thoughtful attitude, because that is what makes people beautiful on the inside.

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  17. There is nothing hurtful about what you said. You made your point in exactly the right way. If there is any silver lining to you being discussed on Free Jinger it's that at least you're setting a good example for people of how a Christian should behave when attacked. Your parents should be proud of you.

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  18. I don't get offended to often, I try to consider the source.
    I praise God for my family everyday, I pray for my wife Mary,who is MY Gift from God, and our two blessings from The Lord; Rebecca and Annah.
    Everybody please pray for the one/ones that sent the filthy email. I didn't see it, Rebecca deleted it before anyone else seen it. Remember - There are two kinds of people in the world, # 1 Those that know Jesus, and # 2 those that NEED TO!
    As it was stated once: " the only good in me is from and through The Lord Jesus, The Christ! Have a good day!
    Jerry aka. dad!

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  19. Hi Rebecca- Another FJ reader here. I read over there because I am interested in reading and discussing religion, not to belittle sincere, honest people like yourself and your family. I have commented more than once on those boards when I felt the discussions were taking a cruel turn and I applaud you for your dignified post. You and your family seem very genuine and caring towards each other and your community. For me, that is the measure of a person. I am sure we would disagree on many things but I absolutely agree that it is shallow and hurtful to pick on people for the way they look or what they wear. I am a woman raising two children with my female partner and I know that it is hurtful to hear people disparage one's family or life choices. I enjoyed reading about your parents' vow renewal and I think it is lovely that you all made it such a celebration! Being mean-spirited doesn't do anything to open people's minds or hearts and it doesn't make them want to reach out to those who may be different from them. We may have different perspectives on what it means to be a Christian but, I think we can both agree that personally attacking people is no way to find spiritual peace. Merry Christmas!

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  20. Rebecca, you are a kind and good person. There should be more Christians like you. You did a good job speaking up for your family.

    I'm a person who puts very little stock in how people dress, I'm not known for my sense of style. I've never seen a need for make-up either.

    There will always be nay sayers. Ignore them, they aren't worth wasting your energy on.

    Have a nice Christmas.

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  21. Rebecca-
    I enjoy your blog immensely. I love the photos you post especially, and how much you and your family care for each other. I love the baby photos and I love how you have an extended family to include other Christ-followers, not just those who are blood-related. When you post photos of your mom and dad I see nothing but the light of Christ's love radiating in their faces. I see people who smile and love God and know their rewards are not of this Earth, but waiting in heaven. I will be honest with you though, I pray that you and your sister find men that your father deem worthy so you that can marry and have families to glorify God. You are both obvious careful home-keepers and love children! All in His timing. Only He knows what His plan is. Your home looks lovely for the holidays. I hope you enjoy Christmas and know that for many people who read your blog, you are a source of encouragement!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much. You may pray about that as much as you like. It is something we are also praying about and looking forward to down the road when God shows us.
      We want children, but we're hoping the Lord can use us through our families to bless others, even outside of our homes.

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  22. Your words exhibit wisdom, restraint and maturity. Setting boundaries with those who are being hurtful and unkind is totally acceptable.

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  23. Another FJ reader, and as with all websites, FJ has some people who say mean and hurtful things. I'd say that you have a significant amount of fans there simply because, in a sea of blogs that are about judgement and disdain for those who don't "measure up," you are a young woman (and family) who seem to walk the walk. You have always come across as kind and sincere, and I am sure that there is much in store for you. Have an amazing Christmas season! And I love your decorations!

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  24. Hi, Rebecca. You're probably tired of hearing from FJ readers by now, but it hurts me to think anyone could say such cruel things about your family, and I guess I wanted to help shift the balance back in favour of kindness ;). It makes me so happy to see such an honest and happy young woman standing up for the family that she loves. I might not really understand your beliefs or your lifestyle choices (we come from very different walks of life, you and I), but I do understand that you are a good woman, and wherever life takes you, you will shine.
    Have a very merry Christmas!

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  25. Like many of the other commenters, I came upon your site through FJ. I have to say that you are being a wonderful example of what it can look like to return unkindness with love. Too often people (myself included) get caught up in arguing over the smaller parts of faith, rather than the two greatest commandments (love God with your whole being, love your neighbor as yourself). Many of the families written about on FJ are troubling to me because of the focus on displaying perfection. Humans are messy and all mistakes, and I think God is honored by you responding to the cruel comments with love, class and strength.

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  26. Way to go Rebecca! I think your parents long-lasting and loving marriage is beautiful! Anyone who defines love and commitment based on physical appearance is articulating the reason for so many failed marriages today. As Christians we are called to stand firm in our faith - in light of whatever negative comments or criticism may consequently come our way!

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  27. Dearest Rebecca, I am just now getting caught up on blog reading as my husband is not well (the caner is spreading)and I've been occupied with caretaking. I am so sorry to hear what has been happening to you through the comments left on your blog. Know that the person leaving you these comments is bullying you, and most likely suffers from low self esteem; projecting this all on to you in order to feel powerful and important in their sad life. They certainly do need prayer and you are so kind hearted to pray for them--this says a lot about you as a daughter of the King. I do hope that now that you have addressed the situation it will stop. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayer book.

    Blessings, Mrs. Mari

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  28. Way to go, Rebecca! I totally know what you are going thru with the nasty comments as we have had huge problems with this too. (finally we have had to enable comment moderation so our comment boxes aren't chalk-full of junk!)
    I am convinced there are simply a lot of people out there who have alot of pain in their lives, and they have nothing better to do than sit around and criticize people who are happy and fulfilled! Keep doing what you're doing, keep your chin up and know that in spite of all the unkindness and cruelty out there, you still have many friends who believe the same way and are on the same path as you! Take heart! We're in this together and God will keep you strong!! Remember that the Bible promises that those that love and follow Jesus will have opposition! love you friend...Chels

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