Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Taking Steps, but still Crying

 Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. They've been a
blessing. The Lord's helping us, helping me, but it still hurts and I still
really miss Chloe. I wake up in the morning and realize she's not here.

I don't cry every morning, but the late afternoons into night are harder.
I'm so used to seeing Chloe laying around or trotting around the house.
Annah and I don't even want to walk around the block, it's too familiar.
And it just makes us feel sad, especially at sunset. Right now I really
don't want to even gaze at the back yard because I can feel the real
absence of Chloe's presence.
She slept in my room, and night is hard because I'm used to seeing her sleep
in her spot, I'm used to petting and talking to her before I go to sleep.  I'm
used to hearing and seeing her move around during the night and lying
next to my bed. Nights are harder. The Lord is helping, but I still cannot
believe she's actually gone! She was here a few days ago, and now she's
not here anymore? Forever?
The above pictures from Little House on the Prairie Season4 episode
the Castoffs has been on my mind a lot lately. This scene has almost always
brought tears to my eyes anyway. But how come of all my pins on Pinterest,
how come these ones have been pinned by people a lot lately? Why? They
keep showing up on my pin notifications and I'm like, "Why?"
I can't believe this is the moment we've actually had now! I'm so glad the
moment, the dreaded moment is over for us,  but this is a picture of how
I still feel. Just the little, daily things we're used to seeing at with Chloe
especially in the evening makes Annah and me sad. I don't cry every time,
but it does raise a lump in my throat.
A friend of ours who also had to put her dog down last month sent this
to us and just brought me to tears as I read it.
Chloe's vet, Dr. Falls, has been so kind and understanding. He felt just
awful that he couldn't help her and I'm so glad he sat with us through the
whole thing. He's been a real blessing. And he's very good with animals.

Friday, September 16, 2016

Rest in Peace

I can't believe I'm doing this post and saying these words!
It came faster than we ever expected. Dad and I just
returned from the vet. It is with grieving hearts that I tell you this:
Our sweet Chloe is gone! The past
months she's been getting slower and gagging. She had
a heart murmur, and recently it's gotten so much
worse. The passed few days, she rapidly lost
so much muscle, weight, she could hardly get around,
and she was so weak and could hardly breathe!
The doctor said it's like having the air knocked out of you all
the time. The passed few days her lungs filled up with fluid and
he said there was pretty much also a mass in her stomach.
But, she's not suffering anymore! We had to put her down
this morning. She was just so wasted. I can't believe
how fast her body deteriorated.

We're very, very sad! We're gonna miss her so much. I still
can't believe it's over. She was a rescue dog. We got her for
$80 from  a lady who rescued small dogs. She was house broken,
trained already. She was one when we got her. The first time we
saw her, she was running around in the back yard tossing a tennis ball.
I'm just balling as I write this. Please pray for us.

She was the best dog we ever had. She was so cute and sweet.

She loved her car rides.
This was from yesterday.
This song gets me every single time and this is the time
I've always dreaded thinking of it, but now it's here.
Rest in Peace, sweet puppy dog. We LOVE you!

Monday, September 5, 2016

A Peek

I don't own this gif. It belongs to someone else,
but a picture of my mind when I run into an algebra
problem that I can't seem to comprehend and no
matter how hard I try, my brain freezes and I
get all stirred up!



Hello, everyone.
I know I've been so silent, but I just wasn't sure what to post.
Okay, having a foster child has kept us very busy, but
due to a few changes in rules, in this
post, you will see a picture of the little guy who's been with
us for a while! I might try to share more.

I've been working this year on getting my GED. Yes. Okay,
so maybe everyone doesn't get it right when they're 18, but
you know what? I honestly feel this year that I know why
I'm taking it. I'm hoping to get a job after it, if God wills.
If you could please pray for me in that regard.
I'm not taking the whole test all at once, that would be
mind-boggling! I've taken three of the tests so far,
and God's helped me pass each one wonderfully! I'm currently
working on the science part which I'm enjoying.

BUT, the math has been so difficult, the algebra part! Unbelievably
difficult! Now, I did learn algebra back in homeschool but
even then I needed extra help. I'm getting extra help now thanks
to a good friend, but it's still very hard. Math has always been my
most difficult subject. The advanced stuff cuts me off guard.
Then I finally start to understand it, then I have to learn a
new, even more advanced way to do it! I struggle with it so
much! I've taken the math test once so far, and I didn't make it.
If you all could pray for me especially with the math, I would
really appreciate it! My brain freezes and I blank out when I
run into a question I feel like I'm not understanding. Please
especially pray for God to give me clear understanding of the
work, what's being asked of me, and so that I know what
I'm supposed to do!

I've been doing lots of writing on Fanfiction this year which I've
enjoyed so much.

Anyway, that's an update.

Graduation cake for a friend at church
Here he is! The adorable little guy who's been with us for a while!
Isn't he cute?
Recent baby shower cake for new parents at church
Annah & Me
I so agree!
I can't give too many details about our foster baby's case, we enjoy him.
He can be a real handful though. He's so cute, and a big boy!
God bless. Bye for now, Rebecca