Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Taking Steps, but still Crying

 Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. They've been a
blessing. The Lord's helping us, helping me, but it still hurts and I still
really miss Chloe. I wake up in the morning and realize she's not here.

I don't cry every morning, but the late afternoons into night are harder.
I'm so used to seeing Chloe laying around or trotting around the house.
Annah and I don't even want to walk around the block, it's too familiar.
And it just makes us feel sad, especially at sunset. Right now I really
don't want to even gaze at the back yard because I can feel the real
absence of Chloe's presence.
She slept in my room, and night is hard because I'm used to seeing her sleep
in her spot, I'm used to petting and talking to her before I go to sleep.  I'm
used to hearing and seeing her move around during the night and lying
next to my bed. Nights are harder. The Lord is helping, but I still cannot
believe she's actually gone! She was here a few days ago, and now she's
not here anymore? Forever?
The above pictures from Little House on the Prairie Season4 episode
the Castoffs has been on my mind a lot lately. This scene has almost always
brought tears to my eyes anyway. But how come of all my pins on Pinterest,
how come these ones have been pinned by people a lot lately? Why? They
keep showing up on my pin notifications and I'm like, "Why?"
I can't believe this is the moment we've actually had now! I'm so glad the
moment, the dreaded moment is over for us,  but this is a picture of how
I still feel. Just the little, daily things we're used to seeing at with Chloe
especially in the evening makes Annah and me sad. I don't cry every time,
but it does raise a lump in my throat.
A friend of ours who also had to put her dog down last month sent this
to us and just brought me to tears as I read it.
Chloe's vet, Dr. Falls, has been so kind and understanding. He felt just
awful that he couldn't help her and I'm so glad he sat with us through the
whole thing. He's been a real blessing. And he's very good with animals.


  1. It is SO hard to lose a pet -- and often others don't understand the grief. We lost our precious 14-year-old beagle last year and I think I cried for several months straight. Be gentle with yourself and find some ways to honor Chloe's life and spirit, and remember that you did right by her by helping end her suffering and cross the "Rainbow Bridge." I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts.

  2. I so sorry about your Chloe. I always enjoyed seeing photos of her on this blog.

    I remember that episode of Little House on the Prairie! I watched that show all the time when I was a kid.

  3. I am so sorry for your loss. Our dogs are a part of our family and I am sure that one day we will see them waiting there with our family members who have gone before us.

    I have had it on my heart to pray for you to have a collie of your very own. In His timing, of course.

  4. Oh, thank you. That's very thoughtful of you. That's something I've dreamed of since I was a little girl, to have a collie of my own, someday.

    The Lord's helping us. I think of Chloe a lot and miss her. We're adjusting to the change. Sometimes I'm close to tears, other times I'm fine, just sad. But thank you for your thoughts.

  5. I am so sorry for your loss. Dogs leave paw prints on our hearts - I, too, dread the day when my beloved Rosie leaves us. I hope your sadness dissipated soon, and is replaced with your many happy memories of Chloe.