are sweet tidbits that we look forward to. Right now I'm
asking extra prayer for Ryan. For most of this time, he's
been pretty much okay. But lately, I think he's beginning
to feel the reality that Mom isn't here anymore and he
doesn't understand! He's only 3 and a 1/2! He's been
more open that he misses her, and says a lot, "I want my
mommy back." We try to explain it to him-or rather, Dad does, I
have such a hard time trying-, and he listens and repeats after us,
but he still doesn't get it. I don't know how to help him through
this and it all hurts!
I have a hard time talking about her in front of him-which
probably isn't helping-but I'm afraid of having a major breakdown
in front of him. I don't want to scare him by doing that.
And it's slightly effecting him physically too. I have this bad feeling that he
thinks Mom is going to come back for his birthday party in December! He hasn't
exactly said that, but we can tell. I don't know how to help my little brother
go through this when we are trying to get through it ourselves! Just please
keep praying. Sunday would've been Mom and Dad's 29th wedding
anniversary.
With losing Mom, we're not hosting our family Thanksgiving this year at our
house. I can't handle thinking of doing that. We ARE going to celebrate it, just
not be the main responsible party for it.
Christmas is what I'm dreading! We are already getting excited for it, for Ryan,
and planning to do our best to make it fun and special. But even so, Christmas
without Mom?! That just seems so painfully impossible, when I imagine Christmas
Day without her! Her not being there as we open presents and be together? How
is this even real?
Anyway, please keep praying. And thank you for listening to my troubles!
Love, Rebecca
Ryan and Mom-Spring 2017
Everyday is a new day. I keep telling myself. We aren't doing Thanksgiving this year, we always ate at Moms while I did all the cooking and brought it to her house....my husband and I are going to Wisconsin to spend it with friends, picking up my daughter from Chicago and driving up there. My son says he can't deal right now. Last year she was in the nursing home for Christmas and it didn't feel right. This year she's in heaven. One day at a time.....One prayer at a time.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had the best advice for you, words to help ease some of the pain.
ReplyDeleteI know how hard it is to lose a beloved parent.
It sounds like your Ma was what I call “the heart of the family”, that’s what my Dad was.
Some days it hurts to breathe when you think about them.
And how to explain that to a child!?
I’m especially praying for you, your little brother and family.
You are not alone!!
E
Dear Rebecca, I was thinking of you today. I will continue to think and pray for you and your family especially your litte brother. Your grief has touched my heart. Sincerely, Amy
ReplyDeleteRebecca, I've been a reader of your blog for sometime. I just wanted you to know that I will be praying for you and your sweet family, especially during this holiday season! ❤❤ Tiffany L
ReplyDeleteHi Rebecca- this picture of Ryan and your mom is so sweet. :)
ReplyDeleteI have read your blogs for a while but thinking about two things in this post brought me to comment. They're based in my experience as a mom.
First, the preschool age can be tough because they are just getting old enough to understand and question a little more but not a lot. With my child, this came through as asking a lot of questions repeatedly and seeking reassurance the answers are the same even when they aren't the answers we want. I struggle with this but try not to look at repeated questions as an adult failure to explain but a child's way of processing. My child is older now but still does this. She needs to process things repeatedly to get to understanding them.
Second, I have some things that have been hard to talk about with my child for the same reasons you mentioned. I don't want to break down and upset her. In my case, that's meant letting my husband talk to her about them and asking him to help with this. As his sibling, it sounds like you are on the right track with him talking to other family members. I hope in time you'll be able to find comfort in your memories together but until then I'm sure he feels safe and secure in having such a loving big sister.
I will be praying for you and your family.
Praying for you and your family Rebecca - I can't imagine what you are going through, and I pray that the Lord would be especially close to you this year.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a difficult time for you and your family. I don't think you should worry too much about crying in front of Ryan. It shows him that it is okay to feel sad and that even grown-ups sometimes cry when they're sad. Once he understands that his mom isn't coming home for his birthday, it might help to remind him over and over again of the people who WILL be there and that these people love him and will care for him.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, I hope this helps. Your family is in my prayers.