LOTR The Two Towers - The Tales That Really Mattered...

LOTR The Return of the King - Extended Edition - Aragorn Masters the Pal...

This scene with Aragorn reminds me so much of  life, especially when your claim to follow
Jesus. It's like on of the moments, when you're like, "You're not gonna control me, satan! I've
got the written Word on my side! So go ahead and come at me. Hit me with everything you've got!"
And when the devil  hits, he hits HARD!!!!

Beauty and the Beast Ending Scene 2017

This is the best clip I've found of the end of the curse, with no cutting short
the miraculous scenes. In the theater when the Beast and all the servants died,
Annah and I were ugly sobbing. And they were all restored and we were happily
sobbing. They did an excellent job on this film, showing even deeper how much
it meant to the servants and just everyone to have the curse broken. It leaves me
cheering for all of them. So beautiful!

Is This Real?

One year. Did this really happen? I was there, but I still
can't believe what I saw. I still can't believe this actually
happened! Today, it has been one year since my Mom
left us to go be with Jesus! This passed week, year
actually has been very difficult. Lately, I have felt
so lonely, overwhelmed, and scared! Scared that something
else bad is going to happen.

Listening to 99.1!JOYFM has helped us through so much! Dad
and I were blessed to go to the Casting Crowns concert at the
Family Arena when they came to St. Louis back in April. It
was wonderful! Several songs we knew, but I still cried through
several of them. JOYFM has been a huge blessing to us.

Mom's health was going down a lot last year, even though we
didn't know the full extent of just how bad! She'd gone to the doctor
several times the month before she died, and each time she was getting
sicker and they didn't do a full workup on her. Mom was depressed,
sad, and lashed out at us for such minor things I couldn't believe it!
I knew she'd gotten mad or upset before in the past, but this was?

When Mom was in the hospital, her body was shutting down. Annah
and I went to church that Sunday morning, and people asked how
Mom was doing. We told them not good! I remember what I said
to two sweet ladies who asked me how I was doing. I started crying
and said, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but if there was ever a time
that God was going to take Mom home to be with Him, I wish
He'd do it now and get it over with! She's so sick, and even if she
survives this, she won't have a life! And I would not want to see
her suffer like this again!"

Our good friend James Wilkerson came up and stayed with us. I'm so
glad he was there! I don't know what we would've done without him!
Anyway, on the way home from the hospital, just hours before Mom
died, we were listening to JOYFM, and MercyMe's Even If played.

The end was peaceful but it ripped my heart. I could write so many
details about it but not tonight. Even now when talking to my counselor,
one of our family pastors, I want to talk about, but I still don't know how!

The funeral was beautiful. We were kindly surrounded by so many
family and friends, old and new. We picked Mom's favorite colors,
and dressed her in pink, her all time favorite.

 

 

 

 

A music box I gave Mom for her last Mother's Day!

 

 

This song is from Disney's live-action Beauty

and the Beast, and it is so beautiful!

 

Ryan didn't understand what was going on, and he was so sad

and clingy. It still breaks my heart that for him one day Momma

was there, and the next? She was gone!

 

The roses with the silver casket had been Mom and Dad's wedding

colors! We didn't plan that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mom had a rough childhood into her adult years, and some scars that never

healed. Her last days, she found it difficult to cope. So, I am glad she is at peace. But...

 

 



 

 

 

The first time I watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy all the way through, by the

end, I was ugly crying. The ending scene where Frodo joins the elves, his uncle, and

Gandalf to sail away to the Undying Lands is so bittersweet. Frodo suffered horribly,

and not of his own choice, and he never fully recovered from it. God has used that scene

to comfort me even though it is so sad, because it reminds me of Mom.

 

 

 

 



 

Frodo says goodbye to his weeping friends. And he steps into the boat, he looks

back at them with the biggest smile, letting them know, "It's gonna be okay,"

and he is finally at peace. This is how I imagine it must have been for Mom,

when Jesus came for her and took her home with Him, where she is no longer

feeling insecure!!! But...

 

 

 

 What I wouldn't give to see her happy like that, after her last days filled with pain!

 

Some days, my mind or I am just like this, even as I do things through the day...

 

 

 

 

Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated! And...I love you, Mom!

 

 

 

 

 

 







 

 

 



Update on Life

Hi, everyone! Sorry I didn't keep you posted on Sarah's
progress, but I didn't want to share anything till I knew for sure
if and when she could come home.

So, baby Sarah is home! She's been home for a few weeks. She
steadily, quickly grew healthy enough to leave the hospital-praise
God-. She is doing well and is so precious. She is a mix of Caroline
and George. I'll try to share pictures soon!

I know the blog's been quiet. I...I have so much that I want to say,
and some of it is hard to put into words. The passed two months have
been hard: family issues, communication, etc. (No, our family doesn't
have all the answers and we are far from perfect! We have problems same
as everybody else!) Some things are getting better-thank God-, but
there are some days where I just want a quiet place to think deeply. I miss
my mom. Yes, things were rough and tense close to the end, but still...she
and I shared so many things with each other. And the anniversary of her
death is coming up soon! And I had my first birthday without her.

We've been watching the Lord of the Rings series for the first time,
and honestly, it has inspired and encouraged us to be there for
each other and other people, and especially not to let the
darkness completely rule out our view of the light. In those
stories, things looked completely hopeless and all seemed
absolutely lost! But there was always someone who kept
reminding the characters, "There's always hope." They
couldn't see it at the time, but in the end they did. What they
had to do, was keep fighting, keep going, keep believing, and
NEVER give up, in despair! So, yes, this series has been a
blessing from God, and at the right time! I do want to share later
about one particular scene that I knew was from God, that He
showed me as a great comfort right now.

God is blessing my acting, and He has opened so many doors to
me since bringing me to my theatre group! Performing is so much
fun, but also a great way to express emotions and let out energy, which
I need right now! AND, it is a consistency in life that I need too. So,
yes, God is still good.

Dad, Ryan, and I went to Turkey Hill for the weekend. Annah stayed home
with our dog, Thea. She needed a break from everyone and did a lot of
much needed housework without everyone under foot! It was good to
be back at Turkey Hill, and Ryan had a blast, but I'm glad to be back home!
I had a real scare on Saturday. The life guard in the pool had to pull Ryan
and me back to the wall! I was swimming with Ryan, holding him, then I
dipped, just slightly, and he panicked and grabbed me by the neck. I was
trying to swim back to the wall, but he got more scared and kept grabbing me
tighter! He was clutching my neck so hard I couldn't swim properly. I was trying to
keep him above the water, but felt my strength giving out. Though I didn't really fall
under, it did come up to my ears and I felt like I couldn't stay up much
longer. Thank God the lifeguard came. He pulled us both back. Soon as Ryan
was back on solid ground, he ran off to play again. I was really shaken up.
I have felt scared before, many times, and terrified, but never like that!
I felt so shaky and my heart was racing like crazy. The nurse came out
and took a look at me, and tried to make sure I was calm. I could
breathe and speak, but my chest was racing almost like I've never felt
before. I got dressed and she monitored me a few more times in the evening.
My pulse and oxygen levels were a little lower than they should have been,
but I just tried to lay down a lot and get some rest so that really helped
bring them back up. I didn't go to chapel that night, I slept, and when I woke up
I felt reenergized at least mentally. Next day? Felt normal, thank God.
But that was so scary! I've never experienced fear like that. It was
like a bad dream, where I wasn't sure if we were going to make it out!
But God protected us and we're home now.

So, how is everybody else doing?

I Am They - Scars (Lyrics) ♪

Urgent Prayer Needed!

Hi, everybody.

I'm asking prayer for our cousin Leona, George's mommy. Leona is
34 weeks pregnant with their 3rd baby and she needs to have a
C-section today or tomorrow! The doctor's found a type of
aneurysm on the umbilical cord which could cause a still birth
after 37 weeks. And the baby is only 30 weeks in size! This
will be the 2nd time that they've had a baby in the NICU.
Aunt Jean is looking after George and Caroline who miss
their mommy! They all need LOTS of prayer right now!

 

Here are some pictures of their family from Christmas.